


Breakfast Anxiety

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [112]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other, Polyamory, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 14:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14875343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: little lion: wait!! tell me if this outfit looks cutemore like HUNKules: yeslittle lion: yOU HAVENT EVEN S E E N IT YET





	Breakfast Anxiety

**little lion** : where are you rn rn rn!!

 **laf** : I'm making coffee and waiting for you to come down here and kiss me before you go to angelica's

 **little lion** : !! I need you to come up here and help me get out from under hercules !! tis urgent and I need help bc I can't reach the spot on his arm to wake him up!!

 **little lion** : oh wait nvm

 **laf** : ???? I was halfway up the stairs

 **little lion** : I said ow and he woke up bc he thought he was hurting me

 **little lion** : I whispered ow my hip popped after I tried to roll on my stomach on top of him

 **little lion** : I love hercules

 **laf** : aW our statue husband

 **more like HUNKules** : I'm !! Large

 **more like HUNKules** : I have to be cautious

 **more like HUNKules** : when it comes to y'all and the children?? double cautious bc I love you all so much and would die if I hurt you

 **little lion** : oops!! gotta kiss hercules now!!

 **little lion** : husband laws I don't make the rules

 **more like HUNKules** : jdhskhd

 **laf** : why couldn't you get john to help you??

 **little lion** : he's on the other side of our bed and I can't reach him to shake him vigorously until he gets up like I usually do

 **laf** : I,,,love you all,,,more than life itself

 **laf** : and I am so happy that I'm married to you

 **little lion** : you're just standing in the doorway without pants on looking at us

 **laf** : I'm in love with you

 **little lion** : we know

 **more like HUNKules** : come here

 **laf** : !! alex has to go !!

 **little lion** : angelica will understand come heRe my love

 **laf** : !!!

\---

 **angelica** : are you on your way yet

 **little lion** : no I was making out with lafayette bc they're cute as hell !! and I love them

 **angelica** : fucking god bless me and john didn't want to get up so we were in bed until like two minutes ago

 **angelica** : I love him so much I hope I die

 **little lion** : MOOD !!!! I ALSO HAVE A JOHN I LOVE SO MUCH I HOPE I DIE

 **little lion** : !! I need five more minutes and then I'm getting ready and then I'll be down !!

 **angelica** : !! see you !!

\---

 **angelica** : like fivE minutes

 **prayer hands** : I was gonna say ten buT I will take what I can get of you

 **angelica** : !!!

 **angelica** : also you have to make those really good eggs bc alex Specifically Requested it

 **prayer hands** : of course!! but I want to kiss you first

 **prayer hands** : I love you and I'm !! grateful every day that you're my wife

 **angelica** : I love you too

 **angelica** : now come back here and make out with me

 **prayer hands** : !!

\---

 **johnn** : this is homophobia y'all got to kiss alex and I didn't

 **little lion** : I'm getting dressed !! I'll kiss you before I leave <3

 **laf** : why did I get back in bed between my beautiful spouses now I want to go back to sleep

 **little lion** : go downstairs and drink your coffee my love

 **laf** : being in the kitchen alone is so upsetting though I want someone to come with me

 **more like HUNKules** : we'll go

 **johnn** : yeehaw someone carry me

 **laf** : I'll

 **little lion** : wait!! tell me if this outfit looks cute

 **more like HUNKules** : yes

 **little lion** : yOU HAVENT EVEN S E E N IT YET

 **more like HUNKules** : if you're wearing it, it looks fucking cute

 **more like HUNKules** : or beautiful or downright fucking hot depending on what the outfit Is

 **johnn** : OH and this one is,,,all three

 **laf** : how is our husband so fucking handsome

 **little lion** : stoP

johnn: I'm G A Y

 **more like HUNKules** : I want alex to kill me

 **little lion** : kshJHDKSJHKDJH

 **laf** : we'RE GONNA KISS YOU NOW

 **little lion** : YOU ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO DO THAT

\---

 **james** : good morning my franci

 **france eyes** : frances isn't even awake there is nO NEED to pluraLIZE

 **james** : if you get to call me your small bf, I get to call you both my franci

 **france eyes** : ,,,,,fine,,,,,but only bc I like calling you our small bf so much

 **james** : I love you both

 **james** : I'm so happy I don't have to go home

 **france eyes** : I love you too !! ! !!!! ! ! ! !!! ! ! !! ! ! so much

 **james** : !! I really want to kiss you rn

 **france eyes** : can I tell you about something first?? idk if I should but I want to because you're my boyfriend and in order for us to have an Honest Relationship, I have to be honest and Willing to be honest with you and I am but I told frances before bc I was too worried to tell you but she helped me and now I'm ready to tell you about it Today so we can talk about it

 **james** : francis??

 **france eyes** : I'm !! yesterday I was scared that if your parents agreed to let you stay with frances, that I'll be jealous I won't be able to spend as much time with you as you spend with each other and that !! terrifies me !! bc I don't want to be disgusting bc you both deserve so much and I just want to you to be happy but !! I can't do that if I'm being gross

 **france eye** s: not that that's your responsibility!! if I'm being awful and toxic and don't realize by all means call me out but !! uhh I kind of was hoping we could all work on it?? as like a unit?? idk what I'm talking about I'm sorry

 **james** : we're going on hella dates for the next month until college just watch you're gonna spend more time with us than you do at home probably

 **james** : oR we're gonna spend time at Your house, bc your mom is nice and the only adult that I don't flinch when they touch me

 **james** : but !! regardless !! feeling jealous is fine, it's how you Act on it that matters and !! you came and talked to me instead of letting it devour you and are willing to let us help you instead of just shutting us out!! I love you so much francis for real

 **france eyes** : I love you too!! and I'm sorry I'm just scared that like !! what if I miss out on so much that you get upset bc I don't relate to anything anymore and you'll think I'm not as fun anymore and you'll lose interest in me and I love you so much and am serious about wanting to spend my whole life with you that !! idk what I'll do if that happens

 **james** : oh honey

 **france eyes** : I'm sorry!!

 **frances** : francis!! my love!!

 **france eyes** : this is such a bad way to start james' first day living here!! I'm so sorry!!!

 **james** : no no no no no !! francis henderson look at me right now please my love

 **france eyes** : I love you both so much

 **france eyes** : the thought of losing you petrifies me to my core

 **frances** : that's why you're not going to lose us

 **james** : bc we feel the same way

 **james** : and !! we're going on so many dates !! and we'll call you so much !!

 **frances** : you'll be invited to every single dinner at my house, noT THAT YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT bc I know your dad likes to talk to you at dinner and that's your family bonding time

 **frances** : anD !! secret vacation home weekend !! my parents !! you are invited !! ;^))!!! to my house !!!

 **james** : you're basically going to be contacted/connected to us 24/7 is what we're saying, not to mention the fact that we'll text you all the time

 **france eyes** : I'm in love with you thank you so much for doing this for me and telling me all this

 **frances** : yeah we're piling on top of you

 **france eyes** : I'm fine with that

 **james** : I love you 

 **france eyes** : I love you too

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : alex's hair is down

 **more like HUNKules** : my heart is gone he took it

 **little lion** : mary likes to braid my hair when I go there!! I combed it for her

 **little lion** : also idk if I'll be back before lunch and !! I'm having lunch with james and thomas,,,and subsequently having sex with james and thomas,,,,so my hair is down for that too

 **more like HUNKules** : I love you so much

 **johnn** : THOMAS JEFFERSON IS ATTRACTED TO ME SEXUALLY

 **laf** : oh my GOD

 **laf** : I swear to god I'm gonna be 700 years old and john is gonna say that and it's still gonna make me lose my shit

 **more like HUNKules** : they snORTED

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I think there's someone in the house

 **laf** : that was me

 **pip pip doodly doo** : oh

 **pip pip doodly doo** : in that case can you huSH bc we are trying to sleEP

 **laf** : when are you not tho

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ,,,,,gotta go

\---

 **little lion** : I'm heRE

 **angelica** : my children are raVENOUS so uHHhhhH SO WE GOTTA EAT FAST

 **little lion** : lET ME IN NOW NOW NOW

 **angelica** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\---

 **little lion** : I'm at breakfast with angelica and her family rn and did you know that I'm in love with you

 **jmadzzz** : we're in love with you too <3

 **jmadzzz** : also do you wanna go grocery shopping with me thursday morning?? mini date before the Lorge family dinner 

 **little lion** : oh my god yes

 **jmadzzz** : !! is five okay !! we might be there for a while we have to figure out how to feed 12-14 people

 **little lion** : oh right!! I'll ask frances if her boyfriends are coming now that james has moved in with us and !! hopefully she'll say yes

 **little lion** : and yes five is fine

 **little lion** : honestly john, hercules, and laf have been forcing me to get eight hours of sleep for like the past two years now and I'm so fucking excited to go to sleep now most of the time like deadass I just sighed thinking of going to bed at nine at night and now angelica is looking at me weird

 **little lion** : oh my god eight thirty so I can get dressed !!!!

 **jmadzzz** : I love you so fucking much

 **jmadzzz** : also we know you come to our house and pass out at midnight

 **jmadzzz** : as opposed to when you were 28 and passed out at seven in the morning and I would kiss you goodbye to go grocery shopping at six while you woke thomas up to cuddle with you until you fell asleep

 **macaroni fUCK** : I'm awake

 **macaroni fUCK** : I love when james is so excited to talk to you that he squeals and kicks his feet a lil bit

 **macaroni fUCK** : I love it less when he literally kicks me in the Spine

 **jmadzzz** : I love him I'm so excited to see him later  
  
**jmadzzz** : also sorry I love you  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you're fine my love and !! me too !!

 **jmadzzz** : we need to clean our room so alex doesn't have to see how we live

 **little lion** : I'm going to live with you like ??

 **jmadzzz** : yeah but we have two years to improve

 **jmadzzz** : we won't, but the hope is always there

 **little lion** : you're cute

 **little lion** : oOP I've been scolded by angelica and dolley I gotta go

 **macaroni fUCK** : james come shower with me so we can clean the house after

 **jmadzzz** : okie

 **little lion** : you Also understand that I Literally do not give a fuck right

 **macaroni fUCK** : but We do

 **little lion** : then godspeed loves

\---

 **johnn** : breakfast!!!!!!!!!

 **france eyes** : am I supposed to be in this chat?? it says it's the house chat

 **johnn** : you are In the House

 **more like HUNKules** : cory cory cory in the house

 **anastasie** : what  
  
**more like HUNKules** : it's a party every week baby

 **anastasie** : wow okay I love leaving my room to see my parent strangling my father

 **laf** : it's what has to be done

laf: why is hercules' neck so fucking big

 **more like HUNKules** : hey,,,

 **laf** : I love you

 **more like HUNKules** : apology accepted

 **theodosia the Second** : my mom and dad said they want me home by like eleven bc we're going to see my aunts and uncles in new jersey at twelve!!

 **laf** : okay!! we can drive you home then!!

 **theodosia the Second** : thank you!!

\---

 **theodosia the Second** : my parents said you could come if you wanted

 **theodosia the Second** : my family is super annoying and !! kinda bigoted though so idk if you'd want to do that

 **pip pip doodly doo** : are they the ones who still deadname you

 **theodosia the Second** : yes but my grandmother wants my mom to come up to get this antique chest filled with stuff and also stuff she wants me to try on to see if she can pass it down to me, so we have to make a trip up and get it, and they all live like on the same street and are like next door neighbors so they're going to be there bc they know my mom is coming home, which she never does bc they're assholes

 **pip pip doodly doo** : will me going make you feel safer??

 **theodosia the Second** : yeah but I don't want you to feel Gross and Disgusting like I do when I visit them sO !! you don't have to go

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I'm going.

 **pip pip doodly doo** : my parents won't mind they just saw me for the whole week

 **theodosia the Second** : but I love you and I want you to be safe

 **pip pip doodly doo** : but I Love You and I want You to be Safe

 **pip pip doodly doo** : how long will you be there for

 **theodosia the Second** : probably only like an hour or two

 **pip pip doodly doo** : okay how long is it to get there

 **theodosia the Second** : an hour there an hour back

 **pip pip doodly doo** : okay bc my aunt has dinner at seven and I can't miss it bc my uncle might come and I haven't seen him in like two months

 **theodosia the Second** : which uncle??

 **pip pip doodly doo** : my uncle henry

 **pip pip doodly doo** : his fiance got killed while they were at this big party and now he gets really anxious in crowds and by loud noises so he doesn't really go to family gatherings anymore bc we are Large and Loud but I called my aunt martha last night and she said he might come so !! I'm v excited

 **theodosia the Second** : wasn't he at your parents' twentieth??

 **pip pip doodly doo** : yeah but he left super early bc he got too anxious

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I'm really excited to see him!!

 **theodosia the Second** : I'm,,,,,in love with you,,,,

 **pip pip doodly doo** : theodosia!! I love you so much

 **theodosia the Second** : what's with the whole name

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I didn't want you to think I was calling you anything other than your Name

 **theodosia the Second** : oH!! thank you

 **pip pip doodly doo** : it is no problem my love

 **theodosia the Second** : <3 <3 <3

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : parents!! the trip that theodosia is going on is to her gross aunts and uncles who are disgusting and so !! can I go !! I'll be back in time for dinner w/ aunt martha etc.

 **laf** : how gross

 **pip pip doodly doo** : on a scale of 1-10 like a 13

 **more like HUNKules** : in like a ! way

 **pip pip doodly doo** : they're transphobic, homophobic, ableist etc. so yes

 **little lion** : are you going to be Safe there

 **pip pip doodly doo** : we'd be going with Aaron Burr, who they're all afraid of bc he challenges Most of their views sOOoOooOo yes

 **johnn** : are you Sure

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I'm sure

 **pip pip doodly doo** : also you made us take self defense classes so worst comes to worst I fight them  
  
**johnn** : I'm

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : I am so fucking worried about philip

 **little lion** : SAME SAME SAME

 **johnn** : should we not let him go??

 **laf** : but I don't want to put him in the position where he has to knowingly send his girlfriend into danger where she might be unsafe

 **more like HUNKules** : but he's a latino biromantic asexual trans man with four parents, all queer people, going into an environment that he is not familiar with and is openly rejected by

 **johnn** : but we,,,taught him to not be ashamed of who he is and to not hide it,,,,not that that Really applies bc everything sucks and !! sometimes you have to to protect yourself,,,,but still

 **little lion** : okay,,,I think we should let him go,,,,,he is going with theodosia bartow,,,,who, considering who her siblings seem to be, obviously had to have a strong enough head on her shoulders to stand up to them and break away and will absolutely defend our son and her daughter to the Death

 **laf** : so we let him go??

 **more like HUNKules** : so we let him go

 **johnn** : ,,,,okay

\---

 **laf** : you can go, but please be safe

 **laf** : if you think you're about to panic, or if you feel dysphoric in any way, call us or your therapist and !! we'll help to the best of our ability, we're giving you stuff before you leave also just in case to help ease your anxiety and give you something to do with your hands

 **pip pip doodly doo** : thank you!! I love you all sm!!

 **little lion** : we love you too, pip

 **little lion** : go eat!!

\---

 **angelica** : if you don't stop texting

 **little lion** : it was a family emergency that time I swear to god

 **little lion** : I'm anxious as fuck now

 **angelica** : do you want to go home??

 **little lion** : little bit

 **angelica** : go love

 **little lion** : I'm sorry

 **angelica** : don't be!! if you need to be home, then you need to be home

 **angelica** : children first, everything else second

 **little lion** : oH also the thing I had to tell you was that I fucked john, laf, and hercules on facetime in front of james and thomas!! marinate with those thoughts

 **little lion** : they also fucked in front of us kind of while we were there idk

 **angelica** : what

 **angelica** : the fuck

 **little lion** : love you!!

 **angelica** : I love you too???

\---

 **little lion** : I'm coming home

 **laf** : honey are you sure?? you were really excited to eat with them and I wouldn't want you to miss out on it

 **little lion** : I got too anxious about pip and I !! jsut !! I need to be with you right now

 **more like HUNKules** : okay love, do you want us to save you food??

 **little lion** : no it's fine!! I'm not hungry anymore

 **johnn** : we'll save you something, you have to eat

 **little lion** : can it be warm?? you usually pick fruit salad bc it's light but I don't want to eat something cold

 **laf** : we'll save you eggs, magnesium helps with anxiety

 **little lion** : you,,,,googled that,,,, but thank you and I love you

 **more like HUNKules** : we love you too alexander

 **little lion** : !! I'll be home in fifteen minutes

 **johnn** : we'll see you then <3

\---

 **little lion** : uhhh I still want to have lunch with you, very badly actually, but I'm !! things are happening and I'm freaking out and would !! it !! be !! cool !! if we didn't have sex after

 **little lion** : in all honesty I could use a hug would you accept a hug

 **little lion** : I'm too fucking old for this

 **macaroni fUCK** : of course it's fine!! we can lay in bed and cuddle if you're fine with that

 **little lion** : yes I'm !! perfect with that !! I'm bringing my golden girls box set and we can nap

 **jmadzzz** : we'll make food !! yay I like this more than I did before actually

 **little lion** : I'm bringing pajamas

 **macaroni fUCK** : I !! love you !!

\---

 **macaroni fUCK** : should we invite hercules, john, and laf down

 **macaroni fUCK** : I love alex and want him to be like,,,,at the max comfort levels,,,,and he usually is !! that when all spouses are present

 **jmadzzz** : ya!! if you want

 **jmadzzz** : idk is john being here gonna spike your heart rate

 **macaroni fUCK** : I doNT kn OW IS LAFAYETTE BEING HERE GONNA SPIKE YOURS

 **jmadzzz** : ANYWAY

 **macaroni fUCK** : HEEHAW I WON

\---

 **macaroni fUCK** : !! do john, lafayette, and hercules !! wanna come !! you're more relaxed surrounded by people you love and !! they're your spouses

 **jmadzzz** : also we can bond!!

 **little lion** : I'll ask!! they'll probs say yes bc they're freaks who like to protect me, a 42 year old man

 **macaroni fUCK** : you,,,protect us

 **little lion** : but you're all tall, save john, and that means that I can protect you and help you emotionally but not physically

 **little lion** : I don't know how to fight

 **macaroni fUCK** : weren't you?? the one who?? told us the story of you getting into a fight with someone and you beat him so hard he passed out??

 **little lion** : ,,,,,,it was for john,,,,

 **jmadzzz** : ,,,alex

 **little lion** : ok so I Do know how to fight, but not consciously

 **little lion** : if one of you are in danger, I'll tussle bc I love you and my subconscious knows how to fight but like,,,we don't talk to each other,,,so I Personally, can not fight a piece of paper, but my Subconscious could probably kill god

 **macaroni fUCK** : jdhKHKDJ we love you too!! 

 **little lion** : my spouses said they'll all be there!! and tHOAMSSDBS

 **jmadzzz** : bless!!

 **little lion** : and y'knOW,,,,,for people who give yourselves absolutely no credit!!!, you do so much for me and are constantly taking care of me and I just !! am grateful for you always I just want to say that

 **macaroni fUCK** : we love you too alexander

 **little lion** : !!!!

\---

 **little lion** : !! wanna pick clothes for dinner tonight !! and also like !! relax in Bed

 **johnn** : !! yes !! we can do crosswords

 **little lion** : !!!

 **laf** : I wanna start on my murder mysteries

 **more like HUNKules** : I wanna start on john's sweater he wants for his birthday bc he's cute and the sooner I can get it done the better bc !! I like to be on the ball with things

 **more like HUNKules** : so I'm gonna knit

 **little lion** : ooh wait I might want to start on my books I got from the beach!!

 **laf** : let's gO!! I'll set an alarm that way we don't lose track of time !!

 **little lion** : we should pack a bag of stuff for james and thomas' like !! pajamas bc I said I'd bring them and the golden girls box set !!

 **laf** : of course

 **laf** : do they have silk pillowcases

 **laf** : they're two black men and one of them is thomas jefferson of course they have silk pillowcases who am I

 **little lion** : tru

 **little lion** : and !! they do, they only own silk or satin pillowcases my hair is so nice all the time

 **more like HUNKules** : remember when lafayette got me into the silk pillowcase game, a dream truly

 **laf** : you're a dream to me

 **more like HUNKules** : HSJDH DGE T UPSTAIRS

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : honestly hearing our parents sing abba in perfectly tuned and modified harmonies is the biggest fucking mood am I right ladies

 **james** : this is fucking majESTIC I love this

 **frances** : !! dance w me

 **anastasie** : doES ANYONE WANT TO HELP ME WITH PAPERWORK FOR THE SIMPLE FACT OF I JUST DONT FUCKIGN WANT TO

 **pip pip doodly doo** : pip and theo are on your side

 **anastasie** : gOD B L E S S GRAB A PEN ITS MANUAL

 **theodosia the Second** : oh god

\---

 **theodosia the Second** : you're handsome as fuck and I love you

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I !! love you too !! omg?? okay

\---

 **james** : hi welcome to the uslmhlf chat

 **james** : when they all start singing french songs does anyone else just feel increasingly in love

 **theodosia the Second** : this is beauty and the beast I'm sobbing

 **france eyes** : frances is literally dancing with philip and I'm just staring at her like I can't move

 **france eyes** : she makes me shake in my rat boots all I want to do is marry her

 **james** : OMG WE CAN TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH WE WANT TO MARRY OUR SIGNIFS IN THIS CHAT!!!!!!!

 **theodosia the Second** : OH MY GOD THIS ISNT EVEN FUNNY THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY BC I THINK ABOUT MARRYING PIP ALL THE TIME BUT I KNOW IF I SAY SOMETHING HES GONNA RECIPROCATE, AND I LOVE THAT BC I LOVE PHILIP HAMILTON-LAFAYETTE WITH MY ENTIRE HEART, BUT BEING ABLE TO BE LIKE ""I think seeing him in a wedding suit is going to actually kill me"" AND HAVE IT BE MET WITH PEOPLE WHO GET WHERE IM COMING FROM IN A SITUATION THATS ALSO TOTALLY REMOVED FROM ME BUT STILL INTRICATELY INVOLVES ME YKNOW

 **james** : YES I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY LIKE YOURE SEARCHING FOR A DIFFERENT KIND OF RESPONSE THAT DOESNT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT FROM A FIRST PERSON VIEW

 **theodosia the Second** : EXACTLY

 **france eyes** : I,,,,love this,,,

 **james** : BC SOMETIMES IM SITTING IN THE SMOOTHIE SHOP AND FRANCIS IS WORKING AND I JUST LOOK OVER AND HES TALKING TO JUST LIKE !! SOMEONE !! AND I THINK WOW I CANT WAIT TO LITERALLY SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HIM AND WITH FRANCES IN OUR CUTE LITTLE APARTMENT LIKE !! MY FRANCI !! I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH

 **theodosia the Second** : DID YOU PLURALIZE THEM

 **james** : Y E S

 **theodosia the Second** : JSDHDKJSHK

\---

 **france eyes** : I love you

 **james** : I love you too!! come kiss me

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : where are you goOOoOoing

 **johnn** : drawing you, stay there

 **little lion** : you're ridiculous

 **johnn** : very but I looked over at lafayette and they just,,,,are so beautiful,,,,that I had to draw them,,,,and then I was like wow!! look at you all !! being beautiful !! all of them

 **johnn** : also drawing you lets me focus on all of the intricate details of you and lets me bask in everything I love about and care for in all of you

 **more like HUNKules** : did you just,,,,,flip past a page of sketches of my dick

 **johnn** : ,,,,,nobody was home and I needed a way to vent out that energy in a way where I would still be able to have sex with you when you Did get home,,,,,

 **more like HUNKules** : and your way to do that was My Dick specifically

 **johnn** : I can go to the ones of lafayette's dick, or just all of you naked

 **johnn** : I think I once made a flipbook of alex riding you

 **little lion** : I hate you

 **johnn** : do you wanna see it??

 **little lion** : ,,,,yes

 **little lion** : since when have you known how to make flipbooks

 **johnn** : I don't

 **johnn** : remember that one time you and hercules decided to taunt me and seNT me videos when I was oUT OF THE HOUSE

 **more like HUNKules** : yeehaw yes I do

 **johnn** : wELL I couLDNT decide, later when I was drawing it, which part of it I wanted to draw so I just drew them all and then I cut it out and put it together and it worked pretty well

 **little lion** : I actually can't believe you were so enthralled by hercules fucking me that you drew it frame by frame and Also we are done talking about it bc we gotta leave super soon

 **more like HUNKules** : I need a Drink

 **laf** : I'm literally watching hercules get hot over a flipbook

 **more like HUNKules** : you look at it then

 **laf** : ,,,we have to go in like five minutes,,,anyone wanna get dressed,,,in the bathroom,,,,where there is cold water,,,,,

 **more like HUNKules** : HA

 **little lion** : how did you get the shading right

 **johnn** : attention to detail now come here I'm putting your hair in a bun

 **little lion** : oh!! yay !!

 **little lion** : I'm mostly calmed down about everything now, thank you so much

 **laf** : we love you alexander

 **little lion** : I love you too !!

\---

 **laf** : are you and theo ready??

 **pip pip doodly doo** : yeah but pops isn't mad at me right?? I made him so anxious he had to leave aunt angelica's just Because of it and I !! feel really bad

 **laf** : pip!! no!! you're fine!! you know us, we just worry a lot, none of it is your fault

 **pip pip doodly doo** : okay, I just like to be sure

 **laf** : you're fine my love

 **laf** : wAIT DID SOMEONE GIVE YOU YOUR T SHOT TODAY

 **pip pip doodly doo** : sdhKJHD yes hercules gave it to me early this morning bc I was getting me and theo water and he was getting snacks and when I reminded him someone has to give me it today he asked me if I just wanted to get it over with and I said yes bc needles hurt

 **laf** : we should probably teach theodosia how to do it so that eventually when you're living on your own you won't have to worry about it

 **pip pip doodly doo** : !! probs !!

 **laf** : my small son, growing up

 **pip pip doodly doo** : p a r

 **laf** : oKAY LETS GO

 **pip pip doodly doo** : wOO

\---

 **laf** : pip is worried that you're mad at him bc he ""made"" you come home from angelica's house bc of something he did and I love you both so much I refuse to let it go even though I just tried to comfort him best I could

 **little lion** : !! I'll talk to him !! also hercules gave pip his shot earlier we forgot to tell you

 **laf** : yeAH I KNOW HE TOLD ME I ALMOST HAD A PANIC

 **little lion** : are you okay!!

 **laf** : yeah!! I'm fine!! I just want him to be okay and safe and comfortable, like I want for everyone in our family especially our children

little lion: rt which is why!! I'm going downstairs now to talk to philip!!

 **laf** : okie!! did you find my shoes btw the black slides that have the foam in them

 **little lion** : yeS they were literally in the slides section of your closet but you don't look for things ever

 **laf** : rude,,,,but fair,,,

 **little lion** : finish your hair !! I'll be downstairs

 **laf** : I love how I'm going to take this out the moment I am there but it's fine

\---

 **little lion** : piP IS GOOD I LOVE HIM AND WE ARE READY TO GO

 **more like HUNKules** : WOOHOO

\---

 **laf** : are you going to be okay alone here with ana

 **frances** : yeah!! we're gonna watch movies she said and lay on the pull out couch

 **laf** : okay good!! also make sure you either make something for lunch or order something!! we'll leave money on the counter !! and you can go grocery shopping if you want to and use the money for that if we don't have what you want!!

 **frances** : okay!! ty!!

\---

 **laf** : we'RE ON OUR WAY!!

 **jmadzzz** : wOOOO

\---

 **frances** : where did you gOooOooOo

 **anastasie** : IN MY RO O M

 **frances** : NO WE'RE TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND

 **anastasie** : SHE'S TEN MONTHS OLDER THAN ME AND OUR AUNTS D AU GH T ER

 **frances** : SHES NOT RELATED TO US AND YOURE IN THE SAME GR A D E

 **anastasie** : I DONT WANT TO BE SET UP BY MY S I S T E R AND I DONT EVEN KNOW IF SHES GAY

 **frances** : you don't have to ask her on a date!! just hang out or smth!! you can knit together or you can go to the gym bc she probs knows how to fight, being aunt angelica's daughter, and you Do know how to fight, being our parents' daughter

 **anastasie** : ok that won't work !! bc she's stunning and I'm too gay and if I see her muscles once I'll pass out

 **anastasie** : one time during gym she helped push this like bench thing over from one side of the room to the other and her biceps were like There and I had to go home early and hercules laughed at me

 **frances** : you really are a useless lesbian

 **anastasie** : I REALLY AM I CANT DO THIS

 **frances** : what if we ask for you on Your phone, and you just read the aftermath ((which we will help you through))

 **frances** : OH WAIT !! is this an anxiety thing or gay nervousness

 **anastasie** : BOTH MOSTLY NUMBER TWO THO IM MAJORLY FINE

 **frances** : we'll ask her to get ice cream w you and walk in the park for funsies

 **anastasie** : THATS A DATE I CANT DO THAT

 **anastasie** : ASK HER TO COME HERE AND KNIT SOMETHING WITH ME

 **anastasie** : NO THATS INTIMATE

 **frances** : who the fuck thinks knitting together is intimate

 **anastasie** : on my fucking water bed sitting fairly close together in long terms of silence and me staring at her like 24/7 bc I'm gay and losing task

 **frances** : ok,,,what about that little amusement park we go to sometimes

 **anastasie** : we haven't been there in years tho

 **frances** : bc I'm tall and can't fit on anything but you're 5'2" and itsy bitsy so you should be good

 **anastasie** : rude

 **frances** : wait how tall is martha again

 **anastasie** : TALLER SHES SO TALL AND IM GAY

 **frances** : A W buT FR IS THE AMUSEMENT PARK OKAY

 **anastasie** : ASHDS YES ITS FINE IM SOBBING

 **frances** : WOOOOO

\---

 **anastasie** : hey!! it's ana idk if you have my number saved but !! I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to this little amusement park with me?? I don't remember the name but I really want to go back so it would be cool if you could come with me!! but if you can't I understand!!

 **martholemew skywhales** : okay firsT of all, I definitely have your number saved I've known you for my whole life and !! yeah that sounds fun !! when would we go??

 **anastasie** : I'm not sure?? sometime this week probably but idk bc I have work like all the days forever but !! I'll see when I'm free thought!! hopefully v soon

 **martholemew skywhales** : you have like !! a real job !! that's so cute

 **martholemew skywhales** : I meANT COOL HSDJKH

 **anastasie** : sjdhKJ you're fine!! and ty!! it's actually really fun

\---

 **anastasie** : I'm not made for this

 **frances** : you have female friends this is exactly the same thing

 **anastasie** : I DONT HAVE CRUSHES ON MY FEMALE FRIENDS, I HAVE A CRUSH ON H E R THOUGH

 **james** : she definitely did not mean cool

 **france eyes** : she Meant to Say cool but she did not Mean Cool if you catch what I am Saying

 **frances** : also keysmashes are very gay, as I'm told

 **frances** : I have no straight friends to get that info from

 **james** : mood

 **anastasie** : ITS AWKWARD BC IVE KNOWN HER MY WHOLE LIFE BUT BC I HAVE THIS STUPID CRUSH IT FEELS LIKE IVE J U S T MET HER

 **france eyes** : that's cute

 **france eyes** : I WANT TO BE A MATCHMAKER BITCH

 **frances** : legitimately can't tell if you're joking or not

 **france eyes** : no actually I've been thinking abt it and I want to like,,,,be a marriage counselor,,,,and help people like !! have healthier and happier relationships

 **france eyes** : I'm as happy as I could be with the two of you, and I want to help people who feel the same way about the people they're with Stay Happy with the people they're with and !! I wanted to be a teacher and this is basically teaching people !! yknow !! healthy lovin

 **anastasie** : remember when our parents went to a marriage counselor just to ""make sure"" they weren't toxic and the counselor literally had to have five sessions with them to convince them that they were Just in love, and that there was nothing inherently wrong with anything they were doing

 **frances** : that was the weirdest period of life for All of us bc the counselor literally had no idea what to do with them so she'd give them like,,,,exercises to Soothe their Worries and it'd be like weird conversations about life and issues that they DONT have

 **france eyes** : I'm

 **james** : goals I hope that's us in the future

 **anastasie** : don't rub this in my face

 **anastasie** : we're watching love simon

 **james** : YES

\---

 **little lion** : IS EVERYTHING OKAY??

 **pip pip doodly doo** : we're not even at the house yet pops

 **little lion** : oh

 **little lion** : it's been an hour??

 **pip pip doodly doo** : weLL we were behind bc soME PEOPLE wouldn't stop hUGGING ME IN THE CAR so I couldn'T GE T O U T

 **little lion** : I'm,,,anyway

 **pip pip doodly doo** : jdJH it was nice and also !! can you tell par that I stole their green tie that was in the dryer bc I needed one that matched my shirt in case they go looking for it later!!

 **little lion** : yeah I'll tell them!!

 **pip pip doodly doo** : thank you!!

\---

 **laf** : I have a problem

 **johnn** : like a problem or a Problem

 **laf** : problem

 **more like HUNKules** : hey guys I want to leave bc my first thought was just ""thomas is so cute"" and then my second was ""when did I start thinking thomas jefferson was cute"" sO LIKE NOW I HAVE A PERSONAL DILEMMA

 **johnn** : thomas won't even look me in the eyes bc he's

 **laf** : oh my god

 **johnn** : ATTRACTED TO ME

 **johnn** : S E X U A L L Y

 **more like HUNKules** : and there lafayette goes

 **little lion** : their laugh sounds like bubbles I love them

\---

 **jmadzzz** : remember when I said I wasn't gonna fall in love with lafayette anytime soon??

 **macaroni fUCK** : yeah

 **macaroni fUCK** : OH

 **jmadzzz** : I,,,,might be,,,,wrong

 **little lion** : oOOoOOoooOoHhHHhHhhhhHhhHHHhHh

 **little lion** : IM SO HIGH ON THIS

 **macaroni fUCK** : ok I swear you don't know what being high is like you once said that when you were in the bath with me

 **little lion** : were you not high on cuddling me in water that smelled like strawberries

 **macaroni fUCK** : nO BC THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS

 **little lion** : if I would've put any more of that STRONG ASS SOAP IN, it would've been

 **macaroni fUCK** : JADSKSJDH

\---

 **little lion** : how do I get my spouses to make out with my other set of spouses

 **angelica:** alex what the fuck

 **little lion** : I'm acting as matchmaker to my signifs and hercules, john, and thomas are currently building this puffy cuddling thing that we've done before which is cozy aF and james and laf are getting food and drinks so we don't have to leave until like six and they're all developing crushes on each other so I gave them my blessin and now I want something to HAPPEN

 **angelica** : I honestly have nothing to say about this bc you astound me but tell me how it goes

 **little lion** : LAFAYETTE IS FLIRTING WITH JAMES LIKE THEY WERE BEFORE BUT NOW ITS HARDER BC THEYRE AWARE OF IT AND JAMES IS AWARE OF IT AND HES LEANING IN LEANING IN LEANING IN

 **little lion** : THEY STOPPED IM SJBCSKJDHKSJHDKDSUH

 **little lion** : oh they stopped bc they don't want to cheat on me

 **angelica** : the fact that you didn't extrapolate that immediately is astonishing to me

 **little lion** : I GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE FACT THAT MY SPOUSES WERE ABOUT TO MAKE OUT

 **little lion** : oh they see me and they're both blushing

 **angelica:** godspeed

\---

 **little lion** : ok so update

 **angelica** : I don't want it

 **little lion** : ,,,really??

 **angelica** : no lay it on me

 **little lion** : all of my spouses have crushes on each other,,,but none of them know,,,,except lafayette and james who may be Aware considering

 **little lion** : so I'm going to let them figure it out,,,,on their own,,,,not bc I want to be underhanded and Make them say it,,,but bc a large majority of my signifs have anxiety and bringing things up like ""hey y'all like each other"" is anxiety-inducing and not to mention pushing someone over a boundary they might not even know they have yet, but because I feel like they could fall in love with each other, but if they're going to do that it has to be of their own accord and they have to find their rhythm with each other and me

 **little lion** : I feel like a witch I love this

 **little lion** : I'm going to eat and take a nap in between five people!! bye!!

 **angelica** : that was beautiful goodnight alexander, I hope it all works out

 **little lion** : me too!!

\---

 **laf** : walking in on thomas kissing alex's new tattoos is,,,,,,it's something

 **johnn** : seeing james lying next to alex making out with him is also,,,,Something

 **more like HUNKules** : seeing both of their Back Muscles while they're doing this is,,yeaH

 **little lion** : get in bed??

 **laf** : we're coming

\---

 **little lion** : oh this is so fucking happening before summers end

 **angelica** : IM

**Author's Note:**

> kind of filler chapter!! bc I haven't updated in so long!!


End file.
